Myspace.car

Everyone that knows me, know the rules for my car. They also know that there is a Zero Tolerance Policy in place. Consequences are abrupt, harsh and scary.
That being said, I am a very kind, flexible woman most of the time.
I wasn't always so possessive, but then the stars alligned: I had a future husband and a brand new car. It seems that men are programed to believe that your car is his car. I learned this when he put his hand out for the keys at the CAR LOT. It was an uncomfortable 5 minute staring contest, but he turned red, backed down and got in the passenger seat. We hadn't left the parking lot before he started to program the radio.
SCREECH. GREAT BRAKES.
Some talks won't wait. And he was a captive audience. I had engaged the kid locks, he was not going anywhere.
After some mutual discussion and sharing of needs and feelings, we came to a peaceful pact. Some of rules were changed as I had children, godchildren and princess grand darlin'
Protocol as it stands today.
This was originally written as a legal document, but I had it translated into Plain English Text so there would be no misunderstandings. From anyone.

1. No one drives my car without asking. If we are driving together, in my car, and he wants to drive, the protocol is that he ask, "Hope, honey, would you like me to drive?" He does not hold his hand out for the keys. I will say "Yes . Thank you dear"if I want him to drive. If I want to drive or am bitchy , I will say " No thanks", and smile.
2. No one touches the stereo controls on my dashboard if I am in my car. If I am absent, and you have already gained permission and trust to drive my car, you may listen to your music. Kindly remove your CD, or reset the radio prior to mypost drive inspection.
3. I am not a DJ and do not take requests for volume change or content. My car. My media. Should you wish your own music, or silence, discmans and earplugs are in the side storeage beside your seat. I sing along and often move or drum to the music. Get over it. If you are bringing friends tell them beforehand that it's a hidden family shame and that you are confiding in them. Then get over it.
4. Eating is absolutely allowed in my car. Sometimes , as a busy family, we consider eating in the car our family meal time. So chomp away. BUT if you are eating fast food the windows must be down , no matter what the weather. I hate the smell of that crap.
5. You are welcome to leave garbage in the car. But, when I get crabby about it, there is a good chance the next person to drop a empty poweraid bottle or candy wrapper will be chosen to do the cleaning. Those who clean my car must NEVER remove anything of mine, however unusual. It's there because I want it to be. My car, no explainations. Never throw out the parking tickets in my glove box. They come in handy.
6. If the dog pukes in the car, whoever had the hairbrained idea to bring him will pay for lunch at the nearest truck stop. While I am eating they will clean up the puke and walk the dog back home.
7. There is always a good reason for every dent and scratch. Unless your paying for it, it ain't your business.

For all you women, wives and mothers out there, it is not to late to claim yourspace.com in the real world.

If you claim it, it is yours.