During our family supper on Sunday, I was positively delighted to hear my daughter say to her 4 year old " Can the attitude, missy". She caught my smirk right away. She knew why I was smirking. "Can the attitude " was something that I repeated on a regular basis duringher period of temporary insanity: female puberty.
I was also smirking because I have a video tape. It's hidden in the jewelery drawer in my headboard. No one knows the drawer's there. Til now.
This tape was shot, by me, one day when my daughter was absolutely frustrated beyond belief ,that she'd happened to be born into a family of idiots.I came up with the idea, that rather than repeatly tell me these things, she might want to tape them. She could say anything she wanted, I wouldn,t say a word.And I didn't. We got out the camera, and she vented. And vented. Lots.
THE TAPE:
My 15 year old daughter. In her 90.00 Guess Jeans, 110.00 Doc Martins, my new sweater, and defiance all over her face sitting in a room that looks like a cyclone hit it.
Here are some of her more memorable statements,
It's not that I don't love you guys, but you don't need to know all my business.
When I have kids, they can keep their room anyway they want. It's MY room.If you don't like it don't come in it.
You can't keep being rude to my friends when they call after 11, they don't have rules like at their house, how should they know YOU think it's inappropriate.
Stop coming into my school for no reason. I know where to meet you.
Why should I have to save to buy a car? You're the ones who wanted to live in the country.
I shouldn't have to tell you everywhere I'm going.
If I want my belly button pierced, IT"S MY BODY!
You should never come in my room , unless you get permission. I don't see why I can't get a lock on it. Everyone needs a private space.
None of my friends mom's have to talk to other parents before they go to a party. What do you think I'll do Drink? Do drugs? Have sex? If I tell you parents will be there, they will be. If they're not, I'll call you.
When I have teenagers I'll trust them. I mean if I've done a good job being a mom, I'll trust them.
Do you know how much it hurts when YOUR OWN MOTHER doesn't trust you.
Everyone else gets to car date.
Their parents don't have to meet their boyfriends.
Don't ask who's calling when the phones for me.
Everyone else's parents........ ( you get the idea)
I plan to view this tape someday with my daughter. I'll remind her of it the day she phones me crying, because her daughter hates her because she too, "is an idiot"
We'll watch it, and it will remind her that this, too, will pass. I know we'll laugh. And then I'll give her the tape, She can use it when the time is right, and pass it on. It will be a family heirloom
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4 comments:
Very neat idea, Hope. Just make sure you keep a working VCR in the family too. Won't be long and you won't even be able to buy one.
Teenagers....man I'm dreading them. I was one tough teenager to raise, man, let me tell you. Everything my parents didn't want me to do...I did...repeatedly. When they'd ask....I'd lie....repeatedly. But the world is different now than it was then. We didn't have to worry about someone kidnapping us. We didn't have to worry about "suburban gangs" out for trouble. We didn't have to worry about much other than making it home on time and making sure we all had the same cover story.
My kids have about one more year of being kids. (at least being kids in their own minds) I've been tough up till now. So continuing to be tough shouldn't suprise them. I guess the trick is to remain tough but not drive them to rebellion. I imagine that is a very thin line to balance. God give me strength and wisdom.
Just read your post and that is a GREAT idea!!! I might have to try that. My son is 11 and I am soo dreading the teenage years. He is so awesome, loving and communicative right now - I just hate to see when he turns into the evil monster born of puberty. UGH. I dread it. Anyway, great idea. You can make that VCR tape into a DVD and I would suggest doing so if you plan to keep it forever - as WWW said, VCRs are going to be outdated one day...
Hope's recommended reading:
These are all on my bookshelf:
( My motto about raising children.You gotta be smarter than them, and at least three steps ahead)
"The Wonder of Boys"
(Michael Gurian)
A must have for mom's. Dads already know this, but they couldn't explain it to a woman.
"The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander"(Barbara Colorso)
and
"Hold on to your kids: Why parents need to matter more tha peers"
For all. Must reads.
Thank you for your post. I too think this sounds like a great idea. How tough it must have been tho in that frustrating moment to remain creative. I commend you for that. Thanks for the book suggestions as well. I w/ill check them out.
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