The Fox and the Alpha Male:The Unfolding Story .................................
My daughter purchased her own home a couple of years ago, and prior to moving in she expressed two concerns. She had always lived in an apartment or suite since her departure into adulthood, and being a single mom her concerns were 1) security and 2) yard work. After all the boxes had been unpacked, the solution to her concerns knocked on her door to welcome her to the neighborhood in the form of Alpha Male Neighbour. And he had just met The Fox.
Within 5 minutes she learned he was single though sought after (his words) held many awards in Kick Boxing AND owned a lawnmower.
And he learned she was a cute, friendly single mom, with one car and a two car garage. And she talked him into to year round yard services and promisies to come running to kick butt should the need arise, in exchange for 1'2 of her unneeded garage space. He thought it was his idea.
This little drama is my own personal Soap Opera, which at least once a week I ask for an update:
So, the idiot yells out his door,
"Hey Fox, could you pick me up a burger on your way home"
"Alpha Male, I will be home late, there's an extra large pizza in my fridge, I'm having friends over for lunch, go in and grab a couple of pieces""
"Great, Thanks"
My daughter comes home a few hours later to find her friends just driving up, and an empty extra large pizza box on her table.
Ring, ring...
HA ha, good joke
Huh?
Good joke, now bring the rest of that pizza back, we're hungry.
Who's hungry?
My friends and I, they are here for lunch
It's gone.
Gone where?
I ate it.
ALL of it?
Yep
So what are we supposed to do for lunch.
Tell them to pick up a burger
You are a dead man.
Click.
There's more.... there is always more......
13 comments:
Your daughter lets this guy just walk in like Eddie 'Freakin' Haskell??
Maybe you'd be a better neighbour, ya look good in the security department, she has big dogs that could play with Magnus, do you have a lawn mower?
In our neck of the woods, it's not uncommon for people you know just to walk right in. We are still living in yester year..... no apologies. However my daughter isn't without caution. She knew him a while before she told him where the hide a key was.
That's how we do it around here. We may have to stop though.... first the extra large pizza disappears...... then man you never know.
I'm just a suspicious person, ya' know me bein' Amerkin' and all. I smell a perv.
I could be wrong...it's happened before....like this one time, I thought I made a mistake.....but I was wrong. :)
Awwwwwwwww, you are sweet. No worries. My girl has dead on intincts like me.
He's a big blustering Alpha Male who thinks that my little fox needs a man around.
My little fox agrees.
Someones gotta get those side walks shovelled.
Alpha Male neighbor is just learning hard lessons right now.
He's also just a couple of years older than her, he rents the house next door. No dirty old man here. Just a chest pounding fellow who has the misfortune of living beside a fox.
ps he is not nearly as crazed as his picture may suggest, and she, not nearly as sweet.
Oh good grief. If my brother weren't married, I would suspect him....
Too bad you,re up in kanuck land. I'd lend your fox my Tec 9 with a couple of 32 round mags :o)
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
Remington 870 express, extended 7 Shot magazine, loaded w/ #1 buckshot.......who needs an "alpha male"? He could never break out a "Can O' Whoop Ass" as big as that.
And it won't use your garage or eat your pizza! (Of course it won't cut your grass either, but hey...nobody's perfect, right?)
damn why didnt she meet the pizza man instead it might have been cheaper ;)
Sounds like what happens around here. My nieghbor takes my dog (baths her too), swims in my pool and basically helps himself to whatever he wants. In return, I kindly toilet paper his house, vaseline his door nob and have considered seran wrapping his toilet. Good thing he is my best friends brother. He owns one of those guns the manly men are speakin of ;O)
I want an alpha male like that. Instead I have my wonderful husband who just never seems to get around to that yard work. Thank goodness we never have to shovel our walks!
LMAO! She will put him in his place I'm sure!
Looking forward to the rest of the soap opera!
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