Queen of Melancholy
A weekend of camping.
Beautiful weather. Happy kids.
Few rules.
And I am the Queen.
No one may sit on my throne. The only spot out of bounds.
My husband surprises us, and comes on Sunday afternoon.
He plays, he eats, and plays some more.
When the kids are asleep, I tell him I am glad he came. He tells me he is glad too. I tell him it will be a relief to have help to pack up tomorrow.
There is silence around the fire.
I have a tee off time at 9am tommorow , he says.
Go home, I say.
Again there is silence. The fire crackles and pops.
I will not be your Little Red Hen.
You are being dramatic again, he says.
He does not get it, I know, he thinks it's about golfing.
I am serious, I say, go home.
He leaves.
He knows I only say I'm serious when I am.
So I spend my last evening camping, as The Queen of Melancholy.
The wee hours of the morning, glowing embers, and a pity party for the Little Red Hen.
And who will help me fix this trailor, or pack this trailor, or buy the groceries and set up camp?
Not I says the husband (ok so I didn't ask, and he wouldn't say no if I did, but this is MY pity script)
And who will help me take down camp?
I need no help, for I am the Queen.
Melancholy in the beginning, feels like a comfortable quilt. And I embrace this night of melancholy under the stars and the moon, all alone with my thoughts.
I pondered sending the children home and living here forever, away from the demands, expectations, both from others and myself.
And I ran away for a while, last night.
With dreams of being free. And responsible for only me.
But I came back.
And posted some pics.
8 comments:
I understand.
Tonight I told my husband that I get tired of having to ask. Why can't he just get off his butt and do something without being told?
Ok, so I'm having my own little pity party.
I would have sent him home too.
We have the same "discussion" around these parts. When I do, it's never noticed. When I don't it's always noticed. When I point out the times when she doesn't either it's being confrontational. Sigh. I can't win for losing.
I admire the very fact you can go camping alone with your kids! I would want my husband there with me. K I know call me a total wimp, but Holy moly I would never be able to sleep knowing I was alone with these kids. When I first read your post I thought yep, why in the world are we always the one to do everything! Then I read what w3 said, and oooohh noooo he made the exact remark as my husband has made. I am sitting here thinking, when was the last time I told my husband how grateful I am for the things he has done with out me asking. Guess I better make a point of doing that soon.
My hubby doesn't golf or watch sports but he watches t.v and read constantly. Camping. We DON:"T do. BUT i hate it when there is so much to be done around the house and he chooses to do things that are as far away fromthe house as possible. The bush the barn etc.
So painting and fixing up and cleaning is left to me. AND if I get abit more pissed I will be doing all the trim.
I'm glad you had your OWN party.
I agree that you're a BRAVE woman camping with the kids and no hubby. I love to camp, but I only do it if I can share the duties. :-)
Welcome back. I hope you had nicer weather than us. We were going to tent, but it was dropping down to freezing at night.
Divine Secrets...thats a great book! Good movie too. I don't blame you for having a pity party! Husbands just don't understand do they? (Maybe thats why I don't have one)
Glad you came back adn posted pics!
YA YA SISTERHOOD fanatastic no ownder you sent hubby away he knows better than to try against the ya ya sisterhood ;)
At least you had a good book with you!
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